So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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