The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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