i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
These tits shall not be calmed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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