my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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