On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
