the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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