Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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