You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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