it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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