guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
