exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
