We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
