you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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