he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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