Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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