Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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