I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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