so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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