that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
