Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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