people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
