Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
