For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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