How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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