And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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