you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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