I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
