would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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