I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
