she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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