just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize