hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
