Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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