Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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