Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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