I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
