If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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