you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
