what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
