I need help removing her.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
