1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
