Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
