i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
