grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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