evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
