even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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