I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
