Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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