I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
