now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
home. puking in laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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