I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
