I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
