You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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