i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
