Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
