ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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