I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
