You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
A+ Viking dick
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