Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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