Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
