the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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