How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
pray to the hookup gods
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
