dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
